<< 02-10-18 >>

actually it's 3 years... also more than 3 years.

@ 12:50 a.m.

I guess I couldn't just leave that mess so after I finished my entry last night, I got to work fixing this shit. I'm kind of surprised at how much I've forgotten, but then again surprised at a lot of things I do remember... I thought it was going to be quick, but I didn't finish it til now, so it did take me two nights, two late nights (and I haven't stayed up in awhile actually) but then actually when I think about it, I used to take way longer. I was a bit of a perfectionist, but now that I'm high all the time, it's a lot harder to give a fuck. Is it a good thing? Hard to say. I still get the job done without the stress so that's a good thing, but then I also could've done better most likely, just not to a huge noticeable degree.

The surprise turned out to be the LA Philharmonic. It was aptly enjoyable, not sure how else to put it but that. Maybe because the New York Philharmonic did so well that one show I saw years ago made me set high expectations? I guess my problem with it was they played two pieces that were 30 mins each. I'd rather they play a couple hours worth of 15 min pieces... variety!

I was just reading a previous entry, from about two years ago... apparently I've been on weed nearly every day for 3 years and more. I've been thinking all along that it was 2, but no, it's been 3, and definitely some time more after 3. That's kinda scary. But then, so long as I'm being enabled, I don't have the capacity to stop. I don't think I'm actually addicted, on the few days that I don't have access to it, I'm just fine. It's just, I don't even feel like it would be worth it to stop for a period to help ease my tolerance... because I've built up so much tolerance, that I think I'd have to be sober like months to make a difference. A minimum of a month anyway. I don't even want to give it up for a month, not for just a small possibility of easing my tolerance when I could just get high by smoking more. Ehhh... this is totally fine. I'm totally healthy.