Gilmore Girls
@ 10:55 a.m.
I'm surprised at myself but I finished Gilmore Girls. I think I started watching it last October or so. I took some breaks in between but I would binge watch multiple episodes at a time. I'm notoriously bad at finishing shows I start but I was excited to finish this one, for the totally ironic reason that I was ready to finish it, not because I actaully wanted to know how it ends, although I was curious about that I guess. It's just that I was ready for it to be over. For all the other shows I watch, I don't want it to be over so I tend to drag it out as much as I can, and then I'll get to a point where I'm not ready for the show to end so I just stop watching it altogether, which is what happened with Charmed and Friends. I wonder if I'll ever finish the last season. I'm kinda surprised that Gilmore Girls managed to last as long as it did. Throughout it's 7 year run, there weren't very many huge changes, and the plot had tendency to come back to the same ones. Maybe that's why I never felt so invested in them. I couldn't quite take it seriously. However there was one scene/event that struck a chord with me. (Major major serious spoilers ahead) It's towards the beginning of season 7, Lorelai has gotten married to Chris, and Chris finds that character reference that Lorelai wrote for Luke, which Lorelai lied by omission to Chris about. In the aftermath, Lorelai realizes it was a mistake to marry Chris and that he is the guy she wants to fall for, but she hasn't. Deep down it had been Luke all along. I realize that I feel that way about c - that it was him all along. I felt like my stupid brain was trying to tell me that I needed to give J an actual shot, that he was supposed to be the one, and I think that Lorelai felt the same way. And I suppose in some way, it's possible that if I had ended up with J, I might live a content life, and I'm sure I probably could convince myself that it was what I had wanted all along (although I suppose it would depend on what point I had started dating J in my life), but now, knowing what I have with c, it's just not possible. And I think that Lorelai realized that too. I think that it's possible Lorelai could've ended up happy with Chris if that whole Sherry/Gigi thing never happened and the show ended at season two. At that point, she didn't know about the possibility of Luke. I guess I'm trying to say that I've known for quite some time that I did make the right choice. I'm just about 99% sure that my marriage with c could never match whatever dream marriage I had in my head with J. Speaking of J, I was on facebook a couple weeks ago, it turns out that he has a baby now. I think he's almost one years old already. To be honest, when I think about him now, I don't feel any semblance of how I used to feel about 8 years ago. It's kind of like this I'm so lucky I avoided that whole ordeal kind of feeling. I think I'm embarrased by my behavoir back then to be honest. I'm glad to have moved on with that part of my life.
We're trying almost despartely to buy a house, but the houses we want is not quite within our price range. The realtor has said that it's the buyer's market right now and we should see something good soon, but I feel somewhat hopeless. After three months of searching, we only offered on one house but they received 10 other offers, so that didn't end up working out. I keep trying not to get my hopes up, but it's hard. Every time I see a house with even a sliver of possibility, I start to get my hopes up, but then once I see the actual property, I realized it's not what i had wanted. Both c and I are so tired of living here. They raised our rent again, but this year they raised it by $143 (as opposed to $50-$70 that they used to), which is ridiculous. c found out that apparently that is a 10% raise and the highest that they could raise in a 30 day period. They even wrote on the note about how because we had been living there for so many years, they're giving us a discount and that the actual rent should be about $50 more. But that was just bullshit. They raised it the highest they legally could, and they're trying to act as if they gave us consideration and did us a favor. Please. This place sucks so much. I was reading reviews that apparently other people had rats in their place. At least that never happened to us. And also there's mold in everybody's apartment, and I do mean everybody. all the review I read said they had mold. We have mold too. We've had mold for years. I heard that their idea of cleaning up the mold is to just paint over it. We're too lazy to call them to even try to fix it. I read the other reviews that maintenance never comes to fix anything. We're getting so ripped off living here, but I don't like the idea of moving somewhere and then moving again in a short amount of time. We're both trying to suck it up for awhile longer until we find the house we want, but it just feels like it'll never happen. How many more months until we can get out of here?