music
@ 1:24 a.m.
I just really wanted to take the time to remind myself how much I really love music and I should make more of an effort to keep it in my life, every day. I know I've had this thought before. I keep hoping each time it will be different. I want to convince myself that it will be different... Right now, I feel so sure I'll do it. I keep thinking about how if it really mattered so much to me, I would be able to do it. So does that mean it doesn't really matter?
I'm tired of doing all this overtime at work. I'm tired of working so hard. I'm giving my life to this company right now, and it's not worth it. The president of the company is an absolute fucking idiot. I'm finally starting to see that I'm fucking smarter than most of these idiots. It's so weird how I used to think that I didn't know any better, didn't realize my actual potential. I don't care for sounding like a narcissistic conceited ass so it comes really weird to me to say that I'm smarter than everyone else. Also I hate being smarter than everyone else. It's true what they say, stupid people can easily be happy, at least in the comparison of the other.
but the point is, I need to fucking be more committed in music. I want to be so much more.
so i'm totally fucking high right now, and if i read this tomorrow and thought "what the fuck was i writing while high??" well...
oh look it's bed time!