mother
@ 3:53 p.m.
it's really fucking strange, but i've recently realized that how i feel about my mom has changed pretty drastically. a part of me always thought about how much simpler life would be if she wasn't around. i did feel guilty for thinking this of course, and i didn't mean that i wished death on her or anything, but it's just that without meaning to, she always managed to complicate my life with her thoughts and opinions. now suddenly, i guess she's managed to change, and i feel this incredible sadness and i'm scared because i feel like anything could happen, any second she could be taken away from me, and i really don't want that. it's kind of irrational because i'm sure nothing will happen, and she's still got a few decades left in her (hopefully), but yet suddenly i can imagine that if she were gone it would be a painful loss, and nothing like i had thought it would be a few months ago.
how scary that can be.
on the other hand, fuck my dad.