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@ 12:41 p.m.
it's not that i've forgotten to write in here, but rather it just seem to become unimportant. i guess even now, it's not important, and i'm only writing because there's nothing to do at work right now and i'm trying to pass time. last year, i thought about writing in here at least once a month. there were quite a few things i wanted to talk about including how anime expo went, my trip to alaska and canada with my mom (although now that i check it, it looks like i did talk about this in my previous entry, although i have no recollection of it), and then c has found a job and i did want to talk about that, and well, now i can't even remember what other things i wanted to talk about because it has been so long. i guess eventually i gave up trying to recall what i would talk about.
i guess i just don't really need to write things down anymore. i wonder if it was just a teenage hobby, because i find that i just don't really care about it anymore. i guess i can even go so far as to say that i didn't feel a need to write anymore after i started college. i guess a lot changed once i started college. my life is so different from then. i think that the things i'm writing about now won't even seem interesting to me in a few years...
c found a job in september but the commute is terrible. he drives 57 miles (one way), which i have to give him a lot of credit for. i don't think i could do that. so we've been talking about moving a lot at the end of last year, and we're not looking at houses, to possibly buy. but it's been a painful process so far as we haven't been able to find any houses we completely like. there's always something wrong. it feels so up in the air right now... i wish that these days could fast forward so that i could just go to that end where i end up with the house. if we don't end up buying a house, i'm not sure what's going to happen, but we don't want to live in this shitty neighborhood any longer.
oh yeah, c crashed his car a few days after thanksgiving, and he bought a new car. it's a 2014 toyota corolla and i'm so jealous. it's made me all too aware how much i'm sick of my current car and would love to buy a new one... but the timing is not quite right and i would not want to drive a nice car in this terrible neighborhood.
i'm really crossing my fingers that maybe we can be married this year. c seems to keep implying that he has a shit ton of money saved up so i'm confused as to why he hasn't proposed yet. it's also making me wonder how expensive of a ring he's planning to buy. i don't know, it's driving me a bit nuts. maybe he's just hinting that he has more money to throw me off. i know he wants the proposal to be a surprise but it's just driving me all sorts of insane, and i guess at this point, no matter what ends up happening, it won't really be a surprise. what would be a surprise is if he still doesn't propose by like novemember. especially since we're talking about possibly being married by the end of the year. ugh, i wish life didn't have to be like this.
i've narrowed escaped helping my mom work at a restaurant. she got fired from her job as a dental assistant so she started doing more full time work at the restaurant the one of the doctors own as a side project. well, now he decided it wasn't making enough money so he was going to sell the restaurant. my mom was really interested in buying it but she explained that if she bought it, we'd all have to help her out a lot. i really didn't want to, but it's hard to say no to my mom when she asks for favors, so i know i would've had to help her. well, he decided to sell the restaurant to someone else, so i was really relieved. my mom is not upset about it, and now is taking this time off to help me look for a house.
did i mention that i would like to fast forward the next few months?
oh yeah, i forgot to say, the stupid people here are raising our rent again. fuck this place!!