10% happiness achieved
@ 3:56 p.m.
ehhhh might as well write an entry cause i'm soooo fucking bored!! i guess things are goin well. maybe i only write when something bad happens. definitely only when something big or something worth mentioning happens. or i guess when i'm bored like now. god i'm bored. work has been so slow now it's ridiuclous how i manage to find stuff to do sometimes. i don't know how i manage to pass this last past hour without dying of boredom, my god. luckily there's 10 minutes left before i can finally go home.
well... here are some things going on i guess. i felt much better the day after i wrote that entry. c was home all week cause it was spring break, and it was so nice to have him home!! i was definitely not used to coming home and seeing him there. we spent some time together watching stuff, and we also catch up on the walking dead. there's 2 more episodes left for this season, and we're saving that for after this past week when the series finale airs. i have to admit that they've done a really good job this season compared to how dry last season seemed to be.
besides that, me and c didnt' do much. god we're pretty boring. i think it's partially because i've gotten so boring since c is not around much and i generally ask the suggestions to do so and so and i'm the one planning stuff. now that i'm not doing that, we stay at home like some kind of old couple. which i am personally okay with, but i can't help but feel like anyone else looking in would think i'm so dull and that bothers me (unfortunately)
c went back to school this week now, though it's been decently nice since it seems like he hasn't been that busy compared to some of those other weeks. his teacher accepted his essay, so that's good and a worry that's over with. he seemed relaxed during spring break and it helped me to feel calm a lot too.
i've been playing a lot of lol and trying pretty hard to raise my ranking. i'm decently pleased with my progress, but on the other hand it feels a bit slow.
i had my semi-annual review today with my manager. she had nothing but good things to say about me. the meeting was really short because there wasn't much to say besides i'm doing a great job, and there's nothing that needs improvement. she says that i'll be qualified for a raise come august for my annual review. i can't wait for that considering it's been almost two years since i got a raise. on another note, the manager broke the news to us that she's having another baby. i was quite surprised by it, almost shocked. i really wasn't expecting that. she barely had her first child, and he's barely a year old, and she's now already 2 months pregnant. she's due early or mid october, i can't quite remember. i'm overjoyed at the aspect that there definitely won't be any supervision on me while she's gone, and she'll also miss a lot of work for her doctors appointments and such, but then i remember to myself that even when she is here, she hardly ever comes by my desk/work area because i'm doing such a good job, she doesn't need to come check up on me. so i guess it really won't make that much of a difference. so one of the guys here at work has left because of family problems (i believe). i'm not sure about the specifics, just something about his dad, and that he needs to fly back to his home country to sort it all out. and then yesterday we found out that someone in our rates dept is also leaving, so we're down some people again. i'm not bothered by any of this or really care too much. wonder if i'm feeling more apthetic than usual?
oh yea, c put on this documentary called "happy" and it discussed in the film that happiness is determined by 3 main factors. the first factor, which accounts for 50% is hereditary and determined by your genes. i was pretty bummed to hear this because i know depression runs in my mom's family. it kind of makes sense too because i've never quite felt so completely enamored with happiness in my life. it also made me bummed because as much as i could try (ha!) i would never reach a certain amount of happiness... the other factors are (10%) current social status, money, real life problems etc. and the last one (40%) is about staying busy and interactiving, having close family and relationships. so really, only 40% is what we are in control of. the only thing i've really gotten down is that 10%. unfortunately, I'm not so great at making friends and social interactions. fuck, 10% is so shitty.