sleeping problem still persists...
@ 1:59 p.m.
I like how some people think they're so smart, when they're really dumb. And I wouldn't want to break it to them, because they would never realize or maybe never own up to how dumb they are. So I really can't be bothered to explain.
Anyway, yesterday was good. I was so dead tired. When I got home, we watched some 30 Rock, but I was starting to fall asleep. I really didn't want to take a nap though, because that would mean that I would be up for most of the night, or wake up at 5 or 6 again.
We ended up going to Ralph's to get some groceries as well as get some Jack in the Box. I think my fast food spending has been getting a little out of control. Once a week doesn't seem like much on paper, but I feel like it's a lot. My weight has been steadily increasing again, back to 150, and it's making me feel disgusting.
Afterwards, when we got home, we tried to watch the first Men in Black movie, but I couldn't really stay awake anymore. At this point it was about 11:30. I thought c would be upset with me, but he wasn't. He was being pretty understanding. He usually hates it when I fall asleep during movies, but I think he understood that I was really tired.
So we went to bed together. Where I had extremely weird dreams. I can't really explain how they were weird, as I can't really remember all of it. It was just a plot that made no sense I guess. I woke up once or twice, and c was up. I have no idea what time it was, maybe 3 or 4, maybe 5. But C was really quiet (I later found out all none of his friends was online, so that's why he wasn't talking, so it made it easy for me to fall back asleep)
He came to bed around maybe 6, and he started watching X-files. He was still awake when I got up at 7. I was really happy to get a decent night's sleep. (I think a good night's sleep would be if I didn't have to wake up at all, and maybe it didn't require me to be so tired) But I feel the problem is not really resolved. Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy with C right now, and I'm happy he's spending so much time with me. This is more attention I've received than I almost know what to do with now, considering how we were before. I think I have to admit that the sex did bring us closer. I think it's made him actually want to spend time with me. The sex has also made him more sexually aware in general. He asked me for oral sex yesterday, which he hadn't done in a long time... it's definitely been a month. I was supposed to do that yesterday, but it didn't end up happening, with me falling asleep and all. But I said I would do it today.
I think he might've been looking at cars on his own yesterday, which is an amazing feat in of itself. He has not been actively doing anything important. I think it would help if he started doing that... but I still need to think of a solution for the whole sleeping thing. I just don't know what the solution is yet. I was thinking that maybe if I can't go back to sleep now that I'd just get up with him and maybe stay awake with him. He says maybe that he'll take naps in the day time while I'm at work and take another nap at night when I'm sleeping. I'm not sure how this would really solve the problem since I tend to wake up after 3am, and if he's going to sleep with me, he'll be awake at that time too. And it's him being awake that wakes me up. Nonetheless, I guess him sleeping with me is one more point toward him trying to spend time with me.
I have to say that at this point, the old feeling I had of feeling neglected, and the problem of him not spending any time with me has passed. On this point, I feel very happy with him, and I feel loved and cared for. It's just this sleeping thing that's still an issue. Luckily, my brother is graduating tomorrow. His ceremony is at 5pm, so I'm thinking that maybe going to work early could be a good thing, so I can leave work at 3:30 if I come in at 7. So maybe being woken up earlier tomorrow would be OK.
How weird that even my brother's graduated high school now. I'd always thought of him as little, but now he's technically not very little anymore is he? He could still use a lot of maturing though. Sometimes, I'm not sure what it is exactly he's thinking... It's like he has a brain of a 5 year old. He doesn't know how to solve adult problems. I guess it's cause he's not an adult yet despite it being so physically.
Oh yeah, and C was awake when I got home yesterday. I guess he just didn't think to text me.