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@ 12:32 p.m.
god. you realize how dead this place is when you log in everyday and notice that your buddy list is still not lit up.
i was mad at c two nights ago. he told me that as we were going to bed 3 nights ago that he's sad or depressed or something like that because i guess he lost a few games of lol (league of legends) in a row and basiclaly he's told me this before. that he wants to do more with his life, he wants more interesting things to do, instead of spending it playing lol. so i told him that netflix has uploaded some new seasons of shows we can watch. he sounded excited (at least he wouldn't have to waste his time on lol--from what i understand playing lol seems to be his least favorite way to spend time when he's bored, but it seems like he only thinks that when he loses), well then 2 nights ago, he got home kind of early. he invited me to play a game of lol, which i really shouldn't be doing, i need to work on better things. but i played one game anyway. we won, and that was the end of that, but c continued to play a few more games. i don't really get it. he says he doesn't want to play but he plays all the fucking time. i thought he would stop soon, but whatever, i got too sidetracked to say anything about watching netflix together, so next thing i know it's 12am and time for bed. he's still on the computer all night long.
i was a little mad at him about that, but i didn't say anything. i figured whatever cause he's life i guess. i was so tired for almost all of yesterday, so i decided to sleep early last night, around 9:30, so i was in bed before he even came home. ugh. going to bed upset is the worst thing ever. i can't stop thinking about it and then i dream about it. and i dream about getting mad. and then when he's on his computer all night still, being loud and obnoxious and i wake up every now and then, i only get more angry. now i'm just so fucking angry, and i can't quite say why.
it's like i can't get this anger out unless i yell at him about something. i'm highly irritated at the fact that he's always saying he's depressed and then he's still playing lol, and waking me up in the middle of the night because he's loud while he's doing god knows what is not exactly a new thing. i've already given him plenty of shit about it, but he's still fucking loud. i've semi-learned to get over it. god. what's the point in sharing our stupid bed anyway. he went to bed like at 4 or 5 am and i wake up at 7. i keep thinking that i'll just sleep downstairs next time that happens, but i know i'll just be downstairs boiling in my anger and not falling asleep anyway. god, i wish i could stop being angry, it's not like any of this is anything new.
just feeling so goddamn irritable. i need to calm down, this shouldn't be a big deal, but why can't i seem to control this anger. logically i shouldn't be this pissed, but i just want to yell at him.
netflix has gotten gay by the way. why did they think that splitting up their services would be a good idea?