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@ 11:08 a.m.
Ugh. Tired of talking about him, but he doesn't seem to go away.
yesterday i remembered that in college i took a creative writing class and for one of my assignments i had to write a short story. i remember being pretty proud of that story so i looked around wondering where it went. i searched through all my crap. i found a bunch of chemistry work (funny how that doesn't mean anything to me anymore) but no story. i found a bunch of papers though. most of them B. I've always been a B-writer I guess. Well, there were a couple A-, but i guess being good at writing a paper is not the same as writing a book or story.
in any case, i was so upset cause i couldn't find it. it was gone. i had printed out like 12 copies for the entire class, and they've all been tossed. i remember writing to c about that story, so i dig through old emails. i find an older unpolished version. i'm so disappointed!! and then i decided to try one last place, where it might be but i was skeptical. luckily i looked because it was there. it's on an usb drive that i've been using every day to work on my current story.
i re-read my story, and i could see some strengths about it and a lot of weaknesses. but it seems like a short story is a lot easier to write then a long one. most of this time, i've been thinking that my problem was dialog, but maybe not. i've been revising my current story and i've just finished chapter 3 and i thought the dialog in there was well done enough that i really didn't need to change anything.
my real problem is consistency, i have a hard time keeping the story in check and keeping character's action in check. i feel like they're doing things that may no make sense.
reading my story made me depressed in a way. i remember being really proud of that. but reading it again, i felt kind of embarrassed by it. I didn't think it was that good. I wonder if my current story is that mediocre. I hope my writing's improved since then.
I have this ridiculous notion to start a blog, but as a fake. I mean that as in, I want to write a fictitious diary. but the problem is that I wouldn't know what kind of story it'd be about. I wouldn't know what to write about. Hmm...