attention attention
@ 8:24 p.m.
a part of me has to wonder why i don't just fucking move to something like wordspace or w/e it's called. because a part of me has always been a huge attention seeker. when i was writing under annachan, i had read a lot more and i had a lot more readers. nowadays, i don't think it's really that my quality of writing has gone down, but rather just that no one is around to read it. a part of me has to wonder how i'm able to be okay with it all. the lack of attention i get must be somewaht discerning to me..
yet i almost can't stand the idea of conforming to something like wordspace. making the time to capitalize my i's and double check grammar issues, and of course the run on sentences (there's a lot of those here) i don't want to and don't feel like working very hard to seek that attention from people. yet i would still really love to have that attention, but who knows if i could commit to my readers? and on there, i bet it's a lot easier to discover who i am, though honestly with the way i am- not really having many friends, i wonder who'd realize who i am. to be discovered by someone, id have to first know them, and i hardly know anyone. worse case scenerio, some old people i knew from high school finds me.
but whatever. i'm too busy to try to keep up a daily updated diary and trying here and there to desperately have people reading my so called excited life with my so called awesome writing.
but wouldn't it be nice to have that attention again that i loved...