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@ 4:42 p.m.
maybe complaining works, because HE GOT ME THAT JACKET that i was talking about. ok actually it was a coat. and it was that one that i was eyeing and wasn't sure about. he actually got me a medium, even though i look much better in a large, but i'm not too discouraged about it because i'm going to try my very hardest to get into shape so i can wear that and look good in it next year. though to be honest, i don't look that terrible in it currently. he says that he actually had to shop around because the store in which i had found it ran out of medium.
i'm reallllly happy about this, but on the other hand i feel so terribly guilty, and it's keeping me from being as happy as i could be, which makes me depressed. i feel terrible that he spent so much money on me (i think it's like $70?) when i know he doesn't really have that much, and now that i think about it, it IS his christmas money and he should buy whatever he wants with it, and stuff for himself. i know i'm completely insane since last time i said like the exact opposite. but i really do feel bad. i wish he had a fucking job, then i would feel better about the whole thing. but i'm still worried about this weight losing thing. i wish it was easier. bllllllllllleeeeh.
c's says he's coming today... YAAAAAAAAAY! and now i'm off work and going to hit the gym.