father daughter douchcery
@ 9:16 p.m.
i've just finished watching "what a girl wants" and wow is it obvious that it's an old movie. or maybe chick flicks like these really haven't changed, and they're still this bad, but the only reason i even bring up watching this movie is that i observed something interesting about it.
amanda bynes's character really wanted her dad for the father-daughter dance at her wedding/some equally important event. but not having your dad to do a father-daughter dance isn't even that bad. i kind of wish that i didn't really know my dad. i couldn't stand the idea of dancing with my dad at my wedding, for everyone there to see. it would be so fucking fake; it would piss me off... to have to stand there, have everyone looking at us, and thinking "Aw that's so sweet" when that's exactly what it isn't. i hate the idea that everyone would think so wrongly, and i hate pretending to all these people out there that my dad is a good person, that he's a good dad.
fucking fuck that. my dad and i aren't that close, but we're not strangers. i can't help but wonder what my wedding will be like. like the part where my father is supposed to give me away, what the fuck am i going to do with that part? it would be so weird and awkward if it wasn't my dad giving me away, everyone would talk about it i bet, but for me to pretend that it's all normal between us sucks. it's not normal. it feels awkward. and i dunno if i could stand the thought of everyone being able to see me being touched by him.
so fk amanda bynes who wants a father to dance with. i wish my father wasn't around, at least i could easily make the decision that i don't have to dance with that bastard of mine.
on another note, saw the movie 21. i approve.