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@ 9:38 p.m.
no i still haven't remembered that interesting thing i wanted to talk about between me and c, i dont think i will ever remember it at this point.
i'm here writing because i just got a notice from the city of los angeles in response to a lab technician job that i applied for a month or two ago, that they want me to take a test (and i think that if they pass, or do well they'll hire me?) obviously this test doesn't guarantee an actual job, but already at the thought of leaving my current job, this notice has pretty much left me depressed. ultimately, if i do get this job, i'd probably go for it because the pay is so much higher, but i REALLY love my current job. a part of me is thinking that i could possibly love this new job (if i even get it) but i need to give the job a chance for that to possibly happen, but i'm just so sad at the possibility that i would have to leave it. but i guess it's not like i was planning to work here forever the rest of my life, so maybe i had to leave eventually as it was. i guess that eventually is just happening way more quicker than i thought it would. still though, the thought is making me sad.
so this exam is going to be next saturday. i don't even know exactly waht they'll be testing me on. is it lab related? chemistry related? just basic math + english understanding skills? i have no clue.. i dunno what i should do. i'm alittle worried that because i want to keep my current job so much i may unconciously sabotage myself... i wish my current job paid me more, there's no way then that i would leave if they paid me more....