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@ 10:51 p.m.
wow. i completely forgot that i had even emailed him. i came here to write that i didn't feel like finishing up that last entry, but i didn't realize it wasn't my last entry.
i'm not sure if there is much to say about the emails anymore. i haven't even checked my email to see what he had said. it's kinda sad for me to think about it because i realize now that it is in fact over between him and i. i guess it makes me sad because a part of me had thought that i would end up with him.
but on the other hand, i have never been so happy in my life with my current relationship. i am so deeply in love with c, and i am so happy that things worked out so that i can be with him. when i think about my future with him, i feel safe, secure, happy, excited, and it makes me so elated that my future with him is so bright!
i couldn't understand before that i honestly just needed to stop looking at other guys. i kept wanting to be with other people because i kept thinking there could be more or better, but i don't think i realized that i already had more and i already had better. i took it all for granted.
part of the reason why i haven't written is because i'm not at work as much. i should probably explain what happened but i just simply don't feel like it right now. but alas, what has happened is that they have cut my hours a shitload, so i'm not at work as much.
mmm... there is much more to say, but i simply don't feel like writing about it. i really probably should... but i guess it'll have to wait until whenever i feel like writing about it. i wouldn't hold my breath though.