fuck you pat
@ 2:36 a.m.
changed my template. finally! i finally got c to fix my photoshop program so i could make something new. not much to say about it except death cab is probably my favorite band.
for the past week or so, whenever i think of something to possibly say in here, i forget it by the time i'm about to type. kinda like what's going on right now.
so it's my second day back to c's place and i've broken my diet pretty badly. last night me, c, and bryan went to this sushi place where i definitely ate more than i should've. today, i had jack in the box. i didn't eat that much, but i still don't think fried food is good for anyone trying to lose weight. didn't eat dinner til about 10pm, but i didn't eat that much at least. i currently have a stomach ache.
i'm debating whether to go to school/work tomorrow or not. the one thing i really hate about being at c's is that i'm farther away from my school, and that means waking up earlier. there's homework due tomorrow, so i want to get there a little earlier so i can compare answers, but of course that would require getting up earlier (and it's already past 2am here). i could turn it in on wednesday (i can compare answers with someone in the class who also has the same class (another one) with me on tuesday), and just miss class tomorrow, which wouldn't be a big deal. also i dunno if i should go to work tomorrow. i don't have to, but i probably should. if i don't get enough hours in, i'm going to need pat's help to pay for school, but all things considered, me and pat aren't on good terms right now. and as much as i need the money to pay for school, i don't want to be one of those bitches that ask for money from someone that i'm having a fight with. i'm pretty sure that pat would give me the money anyway, but i just don't want to be a fucking wanker.
pat and i kinda made up last week, but we semi got into another fight today. i don't know, lately i can't stand him. i think i might just be a fucking asshole to him i dunno. i can't explain any other reason that he would do it to me anyway. i wonder if it's because i treat him like i am better than him without realizing it. because this is the shit that i am getting from him now; he is treating me as if he's better than me. i'd like to explain it more in detail, but then i would need to get in the depts of what it is to play ro, and that gets a little more complicated. maybe i will explain the mechanics of ro on my cast page one of these days.
but anyway, lately he's been just giving me a huge headache. he gets angry over the fact that there's nothing to do on ro. for a little while during the time that i was gone, he played with this girl, whom he kinda started having feelings for (but i know it's only cause she's a girl), which i guess i kinda gave him shit about. i basically said that hooking up with someone in a game online is lame. (though i'm one to speak- however i have learned my lesson, and yes i felt like a loser being with exboyfriend 4, during and after the relationship... still feel like a loser thinking about it) guess he got all touchy about it, but then i basically dissed her. and then he asks me what my deal is with her, not liking her? (my only deal was that pat was being a fag and liking someone online, and she didn't seem like anyone special) so i said that he was the same way with the whole damn guild (he talks shit about people in the guild). then he said that he doesn't discriminate though. some days later, he started raging about the fact that she's into some other guy now and he's calling her all sort of shit, as if it's okay for him to do it now. so my warning, my talking shit about her meant absolutely nothing. and of course him finding all this out was all on his own and such a huge surprise, and he definitely wasn't ready for the shock of it all. i am not even sure if my explaining all this makes sense...
and everything we do in the game, we have totally different outlooks as to how to play it. and we have to argue with each other about every damn thing, as if one person did better than the other. it's never a discussion with him, it just feels like constant yelling, calling each other names and whoever can come up with the most remarks wins that round for being most immature, rather than getting anywhere in the fucking argument. honestly, i signed off of aim because i didn't want to deal with his shit the first time (i just didn't realize it at the time) and considering that since i have been back the past half a week or so and that nothing has fucking changed, (if anything, it has gotten worse because of the arguments) and i decided to sign off again. i dunno when i plan to sign back on, but honestly, fuck that shit. i hate talking to him. it always leads to a fucking argument. i don't know why i should bother talking to him if all he's gonna do is rage at me. i'm sure i'm doing something wrong, but fuck it if i care at this point. he thinks he's so much better, then he can do that on his own. it's not like i fucking need to play ro.
god knows that c would love it if i quit.