"i know what you're thinking" part 2
@ 8:45 p.m.
"i know what you're thinking.. no fapping."
he says, "aww why not?"
"cause.."
?
"cause..." silence. "... i want to be there with you."
he gets frustrated.
"never mind.. just forget it."
"well if you really don't want me to i won't"
i start to walk away "it's ok"
he sighs. his "i love you" sounds more like "i'm sorry i disappoint you."
i keep walking... i'm out of sight now and i half expected him to follow after me to apologize. or.. something? but i hear the door lock.
i come back home and he say, "i have something to tell you..." like a little child confessing that he ate cookies when he shouldn't have.
"what?"
"you're not gonna like it."
i already know. "you did stuff?"
"yea" he inserts his unhappy face. but one of those unhappy face the child who took cookies when he shouldn't have would have made.
"it's ok"
and it is because i had already thought about it while i was at work. i didn't want him to. i thought he wasn't going to from the way the conversation ended, but i guess it just fucking figures. i can't help but to ask myself, "why the fuck do you sound so sorry if you really aren't?"
but when i said it's okay, i decided that it just has to be okay. otherwise i'm the one that has to do things more often.
i'm at home currently. by home, i mean home with my parents and not with c. and i have no doubt in my mind that he's already fapped a few times if not once.
i just have to remind myself that if he doesn't, i'd have to have sex more often. and i just don't have the interest for that sadly.