weed&ocd
@ 4:45 p.m.
everyone says weed is harmless, but i wonder if it has somehow permanently affected my memory. i swear i'm not remembering things as well as i used to. like when i watch movies, if i didn't watch it high, i feel like i may have. some of the scenes of the movie feel hazy. i smoked almost every night this week and i really enjoyed it. but i wonder if it could be affecting me badly? also why i'm high, my OCD tendency to double check and re double check is exasperated because my memory is worse. i keep checking things over and over again. and when i have to think about tasks like what i want to do next... or even at work, when i receive emails, sometimes i have to reread the email and keep thinking about it over and over to doubly make sure that i have followed up all i needed on it and i can mark it as read (as opposed to unread which means i need to follow up). it's gotten kinda crazy and has somewhat gotten to the point where it's driving me nuts, but i still can't stop doing it. it's such a waste of time too. even when i'm not high, i'm doing it. i used to do it moreso when i had been drinking coffee and had caffine in my system, but now it seems like i have no control over it. i'm constantly double checking about everything, even if i think i'm sure... just cause. is it the weed or is it just me? not that it matters... i'm not willing to give up my habits.