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@ 3:45 p.m.
It was a bad day yesterday. Well, just downright terrible really. I didn't go swimming cause I came home so late. Work has been unpredictable lately. Some days I'm so insanely busy. I didn't get home til about 6 pm last night. Right now it's about 3:45pm, and I'm done with my work and ready to go home. I'm definitely going swimming today. But my point digresses. So I got home late and I didn't feel like going swimming, so I end up playing LOL all night. C comes home around 9 or 10 pm and then I proceed to play more LOL with him. Except it seemed like C was doing terribly at the games all night. It honestly wasn't that bad, but he thought it was really bad. Honestly, we all have our bad games, and I do terribly sometimes too. I don't think I'm that much better than him or that much worse, we're probably on par. Anyway, so I guess at the end of the last game we played (we were forced to stop cause they were doing maintanence), C seemed to have died a lot, and gave him a really bad score. He got mad at one point in the game because maybe mechanic failures or something I'm not sure. Then after the game was over, C was just besides himself.
I've seen him do this one other time, during the summer and I know recognize it for what it is and the only thing I can come up with is just plainly that his crazy, as in not sane. I'm sad that a stupid game like LOL would trigger it, but it's not really that LOL is behind the cause. In the summer C was really upset because he was bored. I don't know what triggered it then but he was extremely depressed. The way he becomes is almost indescribable. He seriously doesn't believe he is of any value to anyone. He thinks everyone hates him. He thinks that he's the source of every and all problems and that he needs to just kill himself. I don't really know how to deal with it because I can't make him see reason at all. It's like he has everything figured out--wrongly, but no matter what I say, he is filled with conviction of his own beliefs. He says things like he'd know I'd just be better off without him. I just don't know how to make him see reason when he's like that. I'm sure it will happen again. What can I do to prevent it from happening again? C says that I never seem happy, but it seems like C's the one that's constantly depressed...
PS- Ignoring that fight I talked about last time worked out in the end after all.