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@ 4:50 p.m.
hmm.. we had sex this weekend and for the first time he came before i wanted it to end. i don't think that ever happens.
i don't have much to say, but today is c's birthday and, well it's a crappy monday doesn't seem like anything's happening. c really wanted to build his own desktop for his birthday this year, and was hoping that his family and me would help me to buy the parts so he cuold build his own. well, seems like no one is willing to (i'm guessing because they're too poor). his sister is giving him $50, his mom is giving him $50, and his dad said he was gonna give money too, but not sure how much. i have no clue how much his desktop was supposed to cost to make, but i'm guessing it would've been at least $1,000. i sometimes don't get his sister at all. well i guess growing sucks because then nobody cares what your child wants for their birthday anymore. i guess it's all nice and dandy when they're 10 and all they want is one $30 video game, but once they're grown up and not cute anymore, you really don't want to get them anything extravagant. if i were c's sister i would've bought him what he wanted. you may say this because i'm his gf, but if my brother wanted me to buy him a $200-$300 gift, i would do it, cause it's a once a year thing. or even my mom i would do it. so i guess i don't get c's sister. c makes it out like their whole family is close, but based upon this i don't think they are at all. or maybe she's just really poor... in which case i don't know how she's going to manage since she's about to become a mom at the end of the month. it seems like she acts like she doesn't have any money, yet she's hiding it somewhere. guess she's a true jew after all.
i will never be like that. but it bothers me so much that she is. oh yea, and i don't care how old my children are, as long as i can i will buy them their birthday gifts.
also, on a totally different note. c is really awesome. he got invited (by the professor in his class) for some fancy dinner thing with people from microsoft. how the fuck does that manage to him? how come he's so goddamn successful? and how come he wants to be with a loser like me? i don't get it. i was never this good at anything in college. i think the past 4 years we've been together, c has always been saying that he needs me, and i used to scoff at him in my head, cause i didn't really believe that, but now looking back on it, yeah i think he kinda did, but i only realize this now because i'm the one that needs him! i'm going to be asboultey nothing without him now. and i'm not liking this feeling.