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@ 3:28 p.m.
ugh, you know it can't be good when you're dreading the weekend which i am. i pretty much felt like i lost friday and saturday because i have to work saturday morning, and d&d has still been putting a damper on my sundays. so yea i've officially lost my enjoyment of the weekend, which insanely worries me because it's not as if i really enjoy the weekdays. it almost feel as if i have nothing left. and i think i'm further bothered by this fact so much because today i realize i don't do anything but superficial things.. hobby-wise. like i only watch tv and read. how boring is that? well i guess there's ragnarnok. if you could even consider that a hobby. i've been thinking about quitting again. the funny thing is i think i should quit because i know it's a waste of time and i don't really feel any more accomplished or anything, but then i realized i actually DON'T want to quit. well i have my account until december. i might as well play til then right? i will be tempted to anyway since i can freely go on my account, but once december hits, maybe i shouldn't renew anymore. i feel like i'm wasting my time on there. i almost wish ragnarok would shut down and then i would be forced to quit it. but i think part of the problem stems from the fact that i in fact DON'T have anything better to do and that if i were, i probably would stop playing naturally on my own. i bet this is what everyone that plays wow go through. i wonder if it's a good or bad thing that i play a less known game than wow. well, i don't have anything important to say...
ugh, i really really want to work on my novel, so why don't i? why am i such a prick? i wish someone believed in me. and i wish my pen pal would write me back already. i bet she believes in me. but then again, it seems like no matter who believes in me, it still doesn't matter. i'm still not really putting any effort.
ugggghhhhh i wish i had real hobbies.