job and the money
@ 10:30 p.m.
hopefully this time i actually write a fucking entry.
so tomorrow is my first day at work. my mom found it for me. i like it because it's actually kinda close to where i'm living with c currently, and if i were to be back at my parents, it's not too far from there either. not that i'm going to be at home soon. i'm pretty sure i'm going to be staying here until we finally get our own place. the work itself doesn't sound too bad. it's going to be an office job with answering phones, doing account payable; that kind of stuff. i get to dress casually, but then, the also make it sound as if i'm going to be doing a lot of heavy lifting or something. which i hope i won't have to do, because i've had injuries with lifting shit. i hope this job works out though, i feel like it's fitting.
i met the people that work there. my supervisor is julie, a chinese woman who doesn't speak english very well. the boss is japanese. there are two other workers who are more or less my age. one is a chinese girl named donna, another is a japanese guy named k, who i found intimidatingly attractive. he reminded me of one of those hot guys you see in anime. i would totally want to do him if i had the confidence to be with him, and oh yea if i wasn't with c. both of them are skinny so it made me feel like crap. therefore, i decided that after my first paycheck i'm going to sign up for a gym, and i'm going to start working out. hopefully, i could get c to come with me, and we could encourage each other to get in better shape (and for me to lose weight).
i am a little nervous about tomorrow, but mostly feeling okay. most of all i'm worried about being late, which means that i really should go to bed...
also, with my first paycheck, i plan to buy a new computer. this laptop is completely falling apart. the keyboard has been broken, and i've been using an attached usb one for the past month or so. secondly, the support for the screen, well, the hinges holding the screen in place broke. one has been broken for about half a year, and the other has been holding up until recently. so now they both are broken and the screen doesn't sit up anymore. so i constantly need something behind the screen to hold it up. this has made me not want to be online as much. but yea, with my first paycheck i'll buy a new laptop. i've had this one for 4 years so i think it's a good idea to get a new one... THAT WORKS.
i've been playing ro way too much lately. i think it's making c depressed, because he says ro is all i do, and i know he wishes i would do things with him, or paid attention to him, that sort of thing. i guess it won't matter though. once i start work, i won't have much time for anything. the new work is going to be mon-fri 8-5; standard typical job type. i am still working at the other place, so i'm probably gonna be working every sunday for awhile. so honestly, i'm not gonna have much breathing room... meaning probably not much time for ro or anything i really wanna do...
and you know i realized, when people have money, they are working too much to do anything with it, and when people don't work, they quickly lose all their money, leaving them bored with nothing to do and no money to spend on doing anything. it's sad that we all can't be rich and do whatever we want whenever.
but whatever. at least i'll have money now. i hate not having money. i realized that when i don't have money i hold myself back. for example, when c has been suggesting that we work toward getting iphones, i just say that's silly, and i don't need such a thing. but now that i realize i have a job, and i realize i could with my own money get an iphone, i kind of do want one... and now that i think about it, when i had money back in the day, before the days of c, and c wanting to spend money and having to spend money because i'm with him, i realized that i quite spoiled myself. i never felt like i had to hold back in what i wanted to buy for myself... and i was okay with it, because it wasn't like i wanted everything. i wasn't a reckless spender, but i'm not like i am today, where i have to think about money consumption before spending it... and i hate that.
i love money.