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@ 11:57 a.m.
i thought i'd write an entry since i have a little bit of time now. it's a lot harder to want to write in here while c is around. i don't want him to find out about this yea, but it's also that i get distracted more here. but currently c is asleep.
well, merry christmas i guess. though i don't feel as if this day is any different from any other. maybe if i believed in jesus i would care more? who knows. or maybe if i had money to buy presents, and had friends to give it to it'd be different.
it's been really nice actually since i've come home. i'm wondering if i'm taking being with c for granted at the moment, but i honestly have been enjoying being with him. the sex has been amazing. and with the exception of the few arguments we've had this has been a lot of fun. i guess there isn't much to say, but i am feeling a lot happier about being with c. i know he does make me happy...
but i couldn't help feeling guilty when he asked me things like "will you be with me forever?" cause i have this doubt.. and when he says "if you don't want to be with me u can tell me" i can't help but hope a little that i wish that was true.
i wish i could describe a little bit about the aspects i like about c.. but i guess that's something to try another time.