i can talk about anything
@ 5:55 p.m.
i just now realized that with this freedom i have because no one reads this diary, i can talk about anything... i mean, without worrying. on my other diary, all i did was worry about what other people would think and i couldn't write random entries because people who review my diary would say crap like your diary is boring. i love this freedom. i can write a million entries in here and nobody would give a fuck, which i suppose is what i'm actually looking for.
math homework is giving me the crappiest pain possible. i hate it, i really do. it's too bad because that's the last homework of the day that i have to do and basically i can't escape it by doing some other homework. you must look at me like i'm a freak because i ramble on so much or something.
i don't plan to make this diary my "support" system because that's my other diary. if somehow one day this diary gets deleted, i wouldn't be devisated, not like i would for my other one. i don't really plan to make sense or explain things because i'm too lazy for that. i don't know why i'm even telling crap like this because i'm the only one that's gonna be reading it. i guess i just love to ramble like that. i love to talk.
i'm still really obsessed with mikael. i wish he was mine. i'm thinking of asking him to sadies... but i don't know because i know that if i ask him to sadies, the last of my friendship cover is blown because i asked him to winter formal and he declined, but at least with good reason. i still really would like to ask him though. junie says i should go for it. and jaquelin too. i still don't know. i'm having jaquelin on this hunt to see if mikael likes me and i'm still not sure yet. i really wish i knew whether he liked me or not, but then again i don't. if it's not what i like to hear, i can't even live in my fantasy world of us being together. i guess it's a little weird, but everytime i'm in a crisis or feel like crying, i try to think of if mike was there to cheer me up, whenever i feel down and he's not around... he's the first person that always pops into my mind. when i read romance books, in the back of my mind, it's mike that's on my mind. i can't get him out of my mind and sometimes it seriously creeps me out, that this obession towards him is getting out of hand. i can't stop imaging us being together. i'm so totally over the head in love with him. i wonder if he sees it. *sigh*
bye.