conversation with eric about nancy
@ 11:43 p.m.
conversation with eric about nancy.
darkangelz5: i've come to a decision about the nancy thing
lob0tomy: ohhh
lob0tomy: can I know?
darkangelz5: but i'm going to tell you something
darkangelz5: and yeah i'll go from your reaction
lob0tomy: oh
lob0tomy: k?
lob0tomy: lol
lob0tomy: am I supposed to make pretend like I'm nancy here?
lob0tomy: or what
lob0tomy: man
darkangelz5: no
darkangelz5: not at all
lob0tomy: I get confused too easily..
darkangelz5: just listen
lob0tomy: haha
lob0tomy: ok
darkangelz5: before chris and i were official together'
darkangelz5: something happened between him and nancy
lob0tomy: ...
lob0tomy: dude
lob0tomy: ok
lob0tomy: so chris is a popular guy I see
darkangelz5: but the thing is, at the time, it was kinda obvious we would get together soon or something
lob0tomy: go on
darkangelz5: lol
darkangelz5: hahhaa
darkangelz5: becuz yeah i told her stuff that was going on and chris and i had already kissed by then
darkangelz5: it was this one day when chris called me to go swimming with him and his friend gus
darkangelz5: i couldn't go becuz it was like 5pm and my mom was home
darkangelz5: he called nancy and got her to sneak out of her house
darkangelz5: they called me i think at like 9pm
darkangelz5: and told me like what happened
darkangelz5: and yeah chris stuck his finger up there...
darkangelz5: but what sucked the most was
darkangelz5: chris was the one that told me
darkangelz5: becuz nancy didn't want to
darkangelz5: and she wanted to keep it a secret
darkangelz5: that really angered me
darkangelz5: she said sorry the next day i think
darkangelz5: i told her how i felt about it... like, i was seriously more concerned abuot the fact that she wasn't planning on telling me...
darkangelz5: but yeah i don't think i ever even stayed angry at her
darkangelz5: for like any of it
darkangelz5: i was always the understanding friend
lob0tomy: I see
lob0tomy: man
darkangelz5: even now, i still say oh nancy's weak
lob0tomy: that's crazy
lob0tomy: but hey
darkangelz5: she has a hard time controlling herself...
lob0tomy: can I ask you something?
darkangelz5: and i'm just so sympatheic..
darkangelz5: yeah
lob0tomy: is chris this super good looking guy
lob0tomy: or something
darkangelz5: LOL
darkangelz5: hahhaa
darkangelz5: i dont know
lob0tomy: super persuasive
lob0tomy: wtf man
darkangelz5: he is pretty persuasive
darkangelz5: but nancy's also just really weak
darkangelz5: i know that about her she has a hard time saying no
darkangelz5: like she told me afterwards that
lob0tomy: I see
darkangelz5: she knew itw as wrong and she tried to stop them and sutff but yeah
darkangelz5: she's not that strong...
darkangelz5: and plus gus is even more persuasive than chris
darkangelz5: damn a lot of things have changed
darkangelz5: gus is in the army now, he's in korea
lob0tomy: oh
darkangelz5: but yeah
lob0tomy: fighting the NO-KO's?
darkangelz5: i dont know
lob0tomy: so is gus the super good looking one
darkangelz5: nope
darkangelz5: he's just a lot more persuasive than chris
darkangelz5: but yeah
darkangelz5: what pissed me off even more than all of this
darkangelz5: was that about some time later after this
darkangelz5: nancy said that something like this would never happen again
darkangelz5: and she said that she knew it was kinda late but she thought she should say it
darkangelz5: i dont knw, i just got so pissed when she said that beccuz i thought that it was already implied she wouldn't do it again after the first time
darkangelz5: and the other thing was that chris and i were over so she wouldn't have much of an oppurtunity
darkangelz5: damn that pissed me off the most
darkangelz5: out of everything that happeend
lob0tomy: man
lob0tomy: you're really forgiving..
darkangelz5: but i think that by then our friendship started deteriorating so i started to look negativitly at everything she did
lob0tomy: I see
darkangelz5: on the one hand, i think about it now and what kind of person she was and what she was going through and maybe i should've just accpeted it... better late than never right/
darkangelz5: ?*
darkangelz5: yeah i am really forgiving...
lob0tomy: and you're sure that when she said that it wasn't a for of reassurance?
darkangelz5: but i think i forgive and never forget
lob0tomy: that after a while she seen that things weren't the same
lob0tomy: and she tried to better things?
darkangelz5: i dont know it could be
darkangelz5: i thik abuot stuff like that a lot
darkangelz5: but under the situation i was in, i was just too angry
darkangelz5: i kept thinking that she didn't care
lob0tomy: yeah I know
darkangelz5: oh that's another thing
darkangelz5: after that happened i really began to look at things differently
darkangelz5: i noticed like all these things i do for her
darkangelz5: and i began to wonder if she was thankful for any of it
lob0tomy: oh I see
lob0tomy: man
darkangelz5: like
lob0tomy: I just have one question
lob0tomy: if you know she's weak
darkangelz5: i used to cook her eggs when she came over
lob0tomy: and stuff
lob0tomy: why are you so mad at her
lob0tomy: and everyone else
darkangelz5: everyone else?
lob0tomy: and have this neutrality toward chris
lob0tomy: I mean
darkangelz5: lol yeah i wonder about that too
darkangelz5: but i think
lob0tomy: did he not do all of this
lob0tomy: man
lob0tomy: I really
lob0tomy: don't understand that
darkangelz5: i dont know he has a way of getting under me
lob0tomy: at all
darkangelz5: but i dont know
darkangelz5: they are totally different ppl
darkangelz5: i think i'm neutral towards chris because
darkangelz5: he never hid his feelings
lob0tomy: man
lob0tomy: ok
darkangelz5: i knew how he was feeling and i was free to hate him for it so that my emotions got out
darkangelz5: see even through all this with nancy, i'm not sure how i should feel
lob0tomy: I'm not going to tell you how to feel
darkangelz5: that's what frustrates me so much
lob0tomy: ok
lob0tomy: man
darkangelz5: i dont know
darkangelz5: i guess i'm just angry
lob0tomy: I will never understand that
darkangelz5: becuz i never felt appreciated
lob0tomy: seriously
lob0tomy: if he weren't there
darkangelz5: i feel like she held more responsibility becuz she was my friend
lob0tomy: most of your problems would be absolved
darkangelz5: i've known her longer
darkangelz5: she meant more to me than chris did
lob0tomy: so why is it that you forgave chris and not nancy
darkangelz5: i've thought abuot that too... but i think that someone else would've come along and ruined things
lob0tomy: if you were ever mad at chris to begin with
darkangelz5: i was angry at him
darkangelz5: but i think not as much
darkangelz5: becuz he told me
darkangelz5: he wasn't planning on keeping it secret
darkangelz5: i dotn know
darkangelz5: damn man
darkangelz5: why have i forgiven chris and not nancy?
lob0tomy: exactly
lob0tomy: man
lob0tomy: I will never understand that
lob0tomy: really
darkangelz5: i dont really think it's about that
lob0tomy: I am so serious
lob0tomy: but yeah
darkangelz5: i dont think that what they did hurt me
darkangelz5: it's the things they did afterwards
darkangelz5: i dont know
darkangelz5: i feel like i'm talking out of my ass
lob0tomy: haha
lob0tomy: so you see what I'm talking about?
darkangelz5: yeah
lob0tomy: yeah..
darkangelz5: i knew you were tlaking abou from the beginning
darkangelz5: what you*
darkangelz5: it's still just that
darkangelz5: she should've known me better
lob0tomy: so don't you think that if for some reason you forgave chris for ALL that crap he's done
darkangelz5: i should forgive her?
lob0tomy: you owe it to nancy, your former best friend a second chance
lob0tomy: someone you cared more about
lob0tomy: as you said
darkangelz5: ahh that's another difference between chris and nancy
darkangelz5: in all the times that i've been angry at him
darkangelz5: he always talks to me first
darkangelz5: but me and nancy we're just both fucking chickens
darkangelz5: i just hold nancy to higher standards than chris
darkangelz5: she should've known better
lob0tomy: ok
darkangelz5: how is it that even though we've known each other that long, she couldn't told me the truth?
lob0tomy: but she made a mistake
darkangelz5: yeah
darkangelz5: and... that's another thing
darkangelz5: she has a hard time expressing herself
darkangelz5: she said she's sorry the next day
darkangelz5: now i wonder what she's sorry for
darkangelz5: is she sorry for what happened or not telling me or both?
darkangelz5: i wish i had asked her then
lob0tomy: man
lob0tomy: seriously
lob0tomy: I think you're mad at the wrong person
lob0tomy: if anything
darkangelz5: i just wished that she told me how she felt
darkangelz5: you know near the very close to end of our friendship
darkangelz5: i cried a lot becuz i didn't know how to make it work and i didn't know how to make it better... i treid but i dont know... didnt' work out
lob0tomy: ok
darkangelz5: what got to me was
darkangelz5: that i felt like i was on my own
lob0tomy: so you're telling me that you tried
lob0tomy: hard
darkangelz5: becuz she never talked abo her feellings
lob0tomy: so this means
lob0tomy: that you actually
darkangelz5: and how she felt abou tit
lob0tomy: sat and talked about it
lob0tomy: shared your hardships
darkangelz5: no i guess we never really did that
darkangelz5: i guess by then, i just gave up and thought she had no feelings about it
lob0tomy: so do you really think you did all you could have done then?
darkangelz5: i guess not
darkangelz5: but i was in the mindset...
lob0tomy: but you just told me you cried about how you tried
lob0tomy: yeah
darkangelz5: i thought it was too late
lob0tomy: I was about to say that too
lob0tomy: you must have just been caught in the emotion
darkangelz5: yeah
lob0tomy: and not really thinking as much as acting
darkangelz5: you know i heard from a friend
lob0tomy: I understand that
darkangelz5: and said that nancy was crying too
lob0tomy: but you should have
lob0tomy: and you still should
darkangelz5: i'm scared
lob0tomy: ok
lob0tomy: so you're scared
lob0tomy: but if you spent this much time
lob0tomy: considering it
lob0tomy: it must be for a reason
darkangelz5: yeah
lob0tomy: and if you don't do it
lob0tomy: you'll keep thinking about it
darkangelz5: yeah i will regre it
lob0tomy: yep
darkangelz5: regret(
darkangelz5: i'm really sure i would
lob0tomy: so you might as well take initaitive now
lob0tomy: *initiative
darkangelz5: oh believe me this isn't the first time
darkangelz5: i've wanted to
lob0tomy: yeah
lob0tomy: see
darkangelz5: iv'e opened her IM box about 20 ties before
darkangelz5: and typed out a message
darkangelz5: but
darkangelz5: i always close it
lob0tomy: you didn't do it before and now you're here
lob0tomy: in the same position
darkangelz5: yeah
darkangelz5: i'm just scared
darkangelz5: that
lob0tomy: so although you fear it
lob0tomy: you have to do it
lob0tomy: or it will stay with you
darkangelz5: what if i end up regretting talking to her?
lob0tomy: didn't you tell me that you would rather know
darkangelz5: waht if she's so different now
lob0tomy: than not know
lob0tomy: ?
darkangelz5: yeah that's true
darkangelz5: i would rahter know
darkangelz5: damn
darkangelz5: ok i'll talk to her
darkangelz5: becuz i'm strong
lob0tomy: :-D
darkangelz5: what should i say?
lob0tomy: man
darkangelz5: hi?
darkangelz5: hello?
darkangelz5: hey?
lob0tomy: I'm proud of you
lob0tomy: lol
darkangelz5: how have you been the last 3 years?
lob0tomy: almost brought a tear to my eye
darkangelz5: lol
lob0tomy: haha
darkangelz5: ok i haven't done it yet
darkangelz5: what should i say?
lob0tomy: ok
lob0tomy: hm
lob0tomy: why don't you do it at school?
darkangelz5: ...
darkangelz5: no!
darkangelz5: i'm not that strong
lob0tomy: ok fine then
darkangelz5: but i've thought about that too
darkangelz5: damn i was about to do it this one day
lob0tomy: first IM her about something retarded
lob0tomy: like
darkangelz5: but then i didn't know what to say
lob0tomy: what's the calc hw?
lob0tomy: or something
lob0tomy: lol
darkangelz5: why?
lob0tomy: and then when she starts talking
darkangelz5: i'm more of a straight to the point person
lob0tomy: tell her that really wasn't your intent
darkangelz5: that's so not like me
lob0tomy: yeah but it will help you start talking
lob0tomy: a lot
lob0tomy: once you start
lob0tomy: you can't stop
darkangelz5: hahaha
darkangelz5: reminded me of the pringles commericaisl
lob0tomy: ...
lob0tomy: lol
darkangelz5: damn
darkangelz5: i wonder if i'm even still on her buddy list
lob0tomy: HEY
lob0tomy: no more wondering
darkangelz5: lol
darkangelz5: i said hi
darkangelz5: she's not answering
lob0tomy: ohh
lob0tomy: I'll say hi too
lob0tomy: just to check
darkangelz5: ...
darkangelz5: wtf
darkangelz5: do you even talk to her?
lob0tomy: sometimes
darkangelz5: ok
lob0tomy: haha
darkangelz5: i think she's way
darkangelz5: away*
darkangelz5: she doesn't ignore ppl
darkangelz5: oh yeah
darkangelz5: she's idle 15 min
lob0tomy: yeah
lob0tomy: oh
lob0tomy: I didn't notice
lob0tomy: lol
lob0tomy: well yeah
darkangelz5: yeah i check sometimes
darkangelz5: damn
darkangelz5: wish she wasn't away
lob0tomy: I was going to say that she wasn't responding either
lob0tomy: dude
lob0tomy: I always check
lob0tomy: but I didn't this time
lob0tomy: hm..
lob0tomy: lol
darkangelz5: lol
darkangelz5: what should i sa
darkangelz5: y
darkangelz5: now?
lob0tomy: dude
lob0tomy: I can't tell you how to feel
lob0tomy: let your emotions run
darkangelz5: hahaha
darkangelz5: damn
lob0tomy: all your questions
darkangelz5: there's too many
darkangelz5: paths
darkangelz5: that i could take
lob0tomy: just pick one
lob0tomy: they all lead to the same road
lob0tomy: progression
darkangelz5: lol
darkangelz5: ok i said
lob0tomy: man
darkangelz5: well i guess you can talk whe yuo're back
lob0tomy: I feel like some wise old guy
lob0tomy: lol
darkangelz5: yeah you're 17
darkangelz5: that's really wise
lob0tomy: gah
lob0tomy: haha
lob0tomy: I don't know
darkangelz5: hey you konw
lob0tomy: I'm making really good points today
lob0tomy: it feels good
lob0tomy: I am right?
darkangelz5: i don't feel that depressed about bein 18 anymore
darkangelz5: yeah
lob0tomy: need to check..
lob0tomy: lol
lob0tomy: k
lob0tomy: good
lob0tomy: haha
darkangelz5: i figure
darkangelz5: i don't care what age i am
lob0tomy: yeah
lob0tomy: me too
lob0tomy: and that's good
darkangelz5: i am still me
darkangelz5: yeah
lob0tomy: haha, yep.
darkangelz5: i can still be irresponsible if i wan to
lob0tomy: haha
darkangelz5: maybe i'll go check out those porn shops
darkangelz5: hahaha
darkangelz5: ok maybe not that
lob0tomy: oh my..
lob0tomy: lol
lob0tomy: hey
lob0tomy: you can do as you please
darkangelz5: what else could i doa gian?
lob0tomy: haha
lob0tomy: um
lob0tomy: go to a strip bar
darkangelz5: oh yeah
lob0tomy: buy cigarettes
darkangelz5: i'm totally going there
lob0tomy: lol
lob0tomy: um
darkangelz5: i think i'll go to a strip bar
darkangelz5: i want to see what the big deal is
lob0tomy: oh
darkangelz5: but i don't think a porn shop is interesting
lob0tomy: I want to go
darkangelz5: but you're not 18
lob0tomy: but for other reasons..
lob0tomy: lol
darkangelz5: well obviously
lob0tomy: haha
lob0tomy: hm
lob0tomy: what else can you do
lob0tomy: you can drink
lob0tomy: wait
lob0tomy: nm
darkangelz5: that's 21
lob0tomy: lol
lob0tomy: um
darkangelz5: damn i can't wait to be 21
darkangelz5: i want to go to las vegas
darkangelz5: and gamble
lob0tomy: that's about it
darkangelz5: and drink
darkangelz5: :-)
lob0tomy: lol, get wasted and not know what happened the day before
darkangelz5: oh yeah
darkangelz5: i totally wanted to experience that
lob0tomy: you just find yourself in an alley with no money
lob0tomy: lol
darkangelz5: oh i hope that doesn't happen
lob0tomy: sounds like a good experience
lob0tomy: haha
darkangelz5: haha
darkangelz5: she's back
darkangelz5: damn
darkangelz5: i dont know what to say
darkangelz5: hmm
lob0tomy: hmm
lob0tomy: hah
lob0tomy: man
darkangelz5: hey we're tlaking like normal ppl
darkangelz5: damn
darkangelz5: that's so weird
lob0tomy: this wasn't a bad birthday
lob0tomy: I actually feel kind of good
darkangelz5: that's good :-)
darkangelz5: me too
darkangelz5: i feel pretty good too
lob0tomy: ahh
darkangelz5: except my back
darkangelz5: ...
darkangelz5: *sigh*
lob0tomy: lol
lob0tomy: mine too!
lob0tomy: god damnit..
lob0tomy: haha
darkangelz5: hahaha
darkangelz5: we need surgery or something
darkangelz5: but i swear if i get it i would still have a bad back
lob0tomy: haha
lob0tomy: I would probably die during the surgical procedure
lob0tomy: with my luck
lob0tomy: damnit
lob0tomy: haha
darkangelz5: hahaha
darkangelz5: hmmm
darkangelz5: nancy sounds nonchalent
lob0tomy: ah...
lob0tomy: that might be the computer
lob0tomy: you don't know that
darkangelz5: yeah i know
darkangelz5: i think i sound nonchalent too
lob0tomy: remember what I said
lob0tomy: NO THINKING
lob0tomy: lol
darkangelz5: lol
darkangelz5: do you wnat to read what i said?
darkangelz5: darkangelz5 (11:16:54 PM): hi
darkangelz5 (11:19:54 PM): well i guess you can talk when yuo're back
Eyes ha Do w4 Me (11:24:06 PM): oh i'm bakc
Eyes ha Do w4 Me (11:24:34 PM): just studyiing for econ
darkangelz5 (11:24:41 PM): oh i see
darkangelz5 (11:24:53 PM): i should study too but... i dont think i would retain anything
Eyes ha Do w4 Me (11:25:10 PM): i think there's too much vocab i was always better with the graphs
darkangelz5 (11:25:17 PM): yeah me too
darkangelz5 (11:25:24 PM): i dont think i'm going to do well on this test
darkangelz5 (11:26:31 PM): i haven't talked to you in a long time
Eyes ha Do w4 Me (11:26:33 PM): i don't mind what i get as long as i still have an a
darkangelz5 (11:26:34 PM): how have you been?
Eyes ha Do w4 Me (11:26:41 PM): yeah huh.... maybe 2 years or something
darkangelz5 (11:26:47 PM): oh yeah gordon never does grades... i hope he does it by tomorrow
Eyes ha Do w4 Me (11:27:08 PM): lately i've just been stressing out about college applications and those essays and the sats
darkangelz5 (11:27:27 PM): oh yeah me too
darkangelz5 (11:27:31 PM): i can't wait for dec to be over
darkangelz5 (11:27:34 PM): i mean nov*
darkangelz5 (11:27:37 PM): so that dec could start
darkangelz5: hey how long have you known nancy?
lob0tomy: I'm not sure
lob0tomy: lol
lob0tomy: I don't know her very well though
lob0tomy: so it doesn't really matter
darkangelz5: lol ok
lob0tomy: hahaha
darkangelz5: Eyes ha Do w4 Me (11:28:08 PM): i'm waiting till dec 4th or so cause that's when the sats are over then i could start doing better stuff
darkangelz5 (11:28:30 PM): yeah i think that's how a lot of people feel
Eyes ha Do w4 Me (11:28:38 PM): so hows your life been going?
darkangelz5 (11:29:25 PM): pretty stressful
darkangelz5 (11:29:31 PM): i'm sure yours is too
darkangelz5 (11:29:46 PM): i think things will get better once this month is over
Eyes ha Do w4 Me (11:30:44 PM): yeah... but my writing score is pretty low so i keep thinking abotu impoving it and then i gottat start on the other 2 parts of the admissions essays
darkangelz5 (11:31:06 PM): oh i haven't even looked at the essays :-(
darkangelz5 (11:31:18 PM): are you taking sat 1 or 2 dec?
Eyes ha Do w4 Me (11:31:30 PM): 2 in math and writing
lob0tomy: hmm
lob0tomy: that's ok
lob0tomy: small talk
lob0tomy: lol
darkangelz5: lol yeah
lob0tomy: senseless talk
lob0tomy: that breaks the ice
lob0tomy: just keep going
darkangelz5: yeah it feels kinda weird
lob0tomy: just the fact that you're talking is good
lob0tomy: right?
darkangelz5: yeah i guess
lob0tomy: actually
darkangelz5: i've tlkaed ot her beofre actually
lob0tomy: I'll shutup and let you talk
darkangelz5: at school
lob0tomy: ok
lob0tomy: nm about that too
lob0tomy: I need to go
lob0tomy: damnit
lob0tomy: haha
darkangelz5: oh you do?
darkangelz5: :-
lob0tomy: yeah
darkangelz5: you're going to leaveme
darkangelz5: ...
lob0tomy: damn mom
darkangelz5: have a taco day
lob0tomy: I tried to use the "but it's my birthday" excuse
lob0tomy: didn't work..
lob0tomy: lol
darkangelz5: lol
darkangelz5: say you're typing essays
darkangelz5: lol
lob0tomy: haha
lob0tomy: I closed everything
lob0tomy: a long time ago
lob0tomy: damnit
lob0tomy: haha
darkangelz5: lol
darkangelz5: you should reopen it
darkangelz5: down
darkangelz5: damn*
darkangelz5: our conversation's getting interesting
darkangelz5: now
lob0tomy: haha
lob0tomy: I would reopen it
lob0tomy: but you know, once the parent is pissed
lob0tomy: the stay pissed
darkangelz5: yeah
darkangelz5: ok
lob0tomy: ok
darkangelz5: i'll save it
lob0tomy: I need to go
darkangelz5: and you can read it tomorrow
lob0tomy: man
lob0tomy: I feel good
lob0tomy: really good
darkangelz5: thanks for everything
darkangelz5: me to
darkangelz5: :-)
lob0tomy: did my good deed
darkangelz5: lol
lob0tomy: haha
darkangelz5: thanks again
lob0tomy: ok, good night :-D
lob0tomy: man, I feel really good..
darkangelz5: lol
lob0tomy: bye
darkangelz5: i love you eric
lob0tomy: man
lob0tomy: ohh
lob0tomy: I closed your window
lob0tomy: and you popped up
lob0tomy: when I typed that
lob0tomy: haha, sorry
lob0tomy: I love you too
darkangelz5: huh?
darkangelz5: ok
lob0tomy: haha
lob0tomy: that "man", wasn't meant for you
darkangelz5: dont know what you meant but ok
darkangelz5: oh ok
lob0tomy: haha
darkangelz5: bye
lob0tomy: you get what I'm saying now?
darkangelz5: yeah
lob0tomy: haha
lob0tomy: k
lob0tomy: bye
darkangelz5: crystal clear
lob0tomy signed off at 11:40:19 PM.